February 2012
pureblood-:
Harry Potter is like the Leonardo Dicaprio of the Oscars.
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So I saw this last night
and before I could even process what I was doing
I made this
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“Fuck you, you mindfuck.”
– Franky Fitzgerald
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Darren: Guys, I'm gonna be on Glee.
The Starkids: That's awesome, man! We're happy for you!
Darren: Guys, I'm gonna be on Broadway.
The Starkids: Wow, dude, are you serious? That's great! We're very happy for you!
Darren: Guys, I'm gonna sing with Kermit the Frog.
The Starkids: WHAT?!??!? WHY?!?!?!?! HOW DID YOU GET SO LUCKY??? FOR MY LIFE, DARREN! YOU ARE ONE LUCKY BASTARD, WE CAN'T EVEN LOOK AT YOU RIGHT NOW. JUST... JUST LEAVE!!!!!!!
Anonymous asked: What do you do when you love someone who is incapable of loving you when you have a boyfriend, who means the world to you?
artful-magpie asked: Have you ever traveled out of the country?
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Anonymous asked: Are you a virgin?
Let's play the "Yes or No" game.
You can ask me anything and I’ll answer honestly, but only with yes or no.
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Woman: Can I have birth control?
Government: No.
Woman: I got pregnant because I didn't have birth control and I don't want the fetus. Can I have an abortion?
Government: No.
Woman: I gave birth to my child but since I wasn't expecting it, I can't afford daycare. Can I have help paying for it?
Government: No.
Woman: My boyfriend isn't excited about sex anymore, because I lost my figure due to pregnancy. Will you pay for his erectile dysfunction pills?
Government: Yes.
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You are clearly a twat.
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I hate when my mom brings a guy home. It’s really awkward.
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theatomicboom:
i vote we all email rick santorum a bunch of gay porn
nothing else
just. gay. porn.
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A conversation about marriage (with some...
Classmate #1: Like, I'm okay with gay people wanting to be with each other. But marriage should be between a guy and a girl.
Classmate #2: I don't even want to see it. Like, it's nasty.
Me: Oh my god! I know! My neighbor was talking about how he and his Jewish girlfriend wanna get married and I was like "Why should you two be allowed to get married?" in my head. I mean, why would they think it was okay for a Christian and a Jew to get married. Disgusting.
Classmates: ....
Me: And let me tell you about this other couple I saw making out at the mall. It was nasty. The boy was white and the girl was black. Can you believe that? Two people of different races being together? That's just wrong.
Classmate #2: What the hell is wrong with you? So what if they want to be together?
Classmate #1: Yeah, there isn't anything wrong with it.
Me: Are you kidding me? It's completely wrong.There is only one kind of marriage that is okay. And that is between a man and a woman of the same race, religious background, with the same income level and from the same place. We wouldn't want kids to think that diversity is okay. God wouldn't appreciate these people ruining the sanctity of marriage.
Classmate #1: Why are you even in this conversation? God loves everyone.
Me: What? So you're telling me that God doesn't care who you marry, because he loves everyone?
Classmate #1: Yeah...
Me: Does he love animals, too?
Classmate #1: He loves human and animals and living creatures all around.
Me: Whoa. That just blew my mind. Well it is a good thing that gay people can't get married then. Because everyone knows that gay people aren't human, or living for that matter. Haha.
Classmate #1: ....
Me: Go choke on a dick you stupid prick.
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gryffinwhore replied to your link: Nebraska woman is selling her Chicken McNugget on eBay, which she says resembles George Washington’s face
it looks more like ben franklin tbh
i know, it looks nothing like george washington, this woman is crazy.
Katniss: “Peeta.“You said at the interview you’d had a crush on me forever. When did forever start?”
Peeta: “Oh, let’s see. I guess the first day of school. We were five. You had on a red plaid dress and your hair . . . it was in two braids instead of one. My father pointed you out when we were waiting to line up,”
Katniss: “Your father? Why?”
Peeta: “He said, ‘See that little girl? I wanted to marry her mother, but she ran off with a coal miner,’”
Katniss: “What? You’re making that up!”.
Peeta: “No, true story. And I said, ‘A coal miner? Why did she want a coal miner if she could’ve had you?’ And he said, ‘Because when he sings . . . even the birds stop to listen.’”
Katniss: “That’s true. They do. I mean, they did,”
Peeta: “So that day, in music assembly, the teacher asked who knew the valley song. Your hand shot right up in the air. She stood you up on a stool and had you sing it for us. And I swear, every bird outside the windows fell silent,”
Katniss: “Oh, please,”
Peeta: “No, it happened. And right when your song ended, I knew — just like your mother — I was a goner. Then for the next eleven years, I tried to work up the nerve to talk to you.”
Katniss: “Without success,”
Peeta: “Without success. So, in a way, my name being drawn in the reaping was a real piece of luck,”
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Nebraska woman is selling her Chicken McNugget on... →
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J.K. Rowling announces new novel - for adults →
Booksellers up and down the country will be rejoicing: JK Rowling has confirmed plans for a new novel, this time for adults and “very different” to Harry Potter.
The news should certainly help dissipate the trade’s grief over the end of her bestselling Harry Potter sequence, which have together shifted more than 400m copies around the world.
The author is ruling a line under...
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every-sound-is-a-symphony replied to your post: Conservatives are the best part of politics, they make everything more entertaining with their stupidity and just plain wrongness.
Well John Oliver is an amazing person and he should be president….if he were American that is
John Oliver for President! haha really though
every-sound-is-a-symphony asked: Conservatives are the best part of politics, they make everything more entertaining with their stupidity and just plain wrongness.
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“He [Rick Santorum] is a staunch opponent of abortion, even in the case of rape....”
– John Oliver on Rick Santorum, The Bugle 183 (via sixpencesoulcake)
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I think politics are really interesting, but I can’t stand conservatives so I could never go into it.
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helivesunderawaterfall:
So tell me, people of the great country of the United States of America, is there a candidate for president that is not a complete and utter asshole?
All politicians are assholes. It’s a job requirement.
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“We have to have a president who’s willing to say that the best opportunity...”
– Mitt Romney
And this is why I can’t fucking stand republicans.
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everyonelovesrobots:
Red - I love you. Deep Red - I’m in love with you. Pink - I could stay on your blog for hours. Yellow - You’re amazing. Peach - I miss you. Blue - I want to get to know you. Purple - You’re hot. Brown - I would fuck you. Green - I would date you. Black - I hate you. White - Delete your tumblr. Violet - Go die.
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Questions actually worth answering.
1: Apart from tumblr, what do you like to do in your spare time? 2: Name a favorite of each: food, drink, color. 3: If you married rich and your spouse gave you $100,000 a week, what would you spend it on? 4: Name a favorite of each: book, movie, tv show. 5: If you were given the opportunity to spend 48 hours with absolutely anyone (living or dead), who would you spend it with and what would...
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